My mum’s gone mad – Corona mad
I don’t know what to do
She’s polished both the shower doors
And cleaned the downstairs loo
She’s started eating chocolate
For her breakfast everyday
And when we shout: “It’s Joe Wicks time”
She screams and runs away
She sits down in the dining room
And gazes at her phone
Furrowed eyebrows, frequent gasps
And several mournful moans
Then up she jumps and off she goes
To wash and cook and clean
Tidying like a maniac
There is no in between
She laughs one minute – long and loud
Then… she cries the next
I’ve never seen my mum like this
Both calm AND super stressed
She goes on massive dog walks
Then naps all afternoon
I’m hoping for my poor mum’s sake
This lockdown ends quite soon
She cuddles me all through the day
And tells me: “We’ll be fine.”
Then on the stroke of 4 o’clock
She pours a glass of wine
I’ve seen her swap two toilet rolls
For half a dozen eggs
(And don’t tell this to anyone –
She’s hasn’t shaved her legs)
My mum’s gone mad – Corona mad
But I know what to do
Squeeze her tight and tell her: “Mum,
I’m always here for you!”
By Conrad Burdekin