I wish I could swim like an eagle, I wish I could fly like a rock. How good it would be To walk on the sea Or measure my height with a clock.
I wish I could dance like an anvil, Or sing like a ship-full of jam, And when I was through, I'd paint myself blue By rubbing myself with a lamb.
It's boring just sat in my bedroom; I wish I were somewhere more fun, Like floating around In a hole underground, Or digging my way to the sun.
I'm worried that this isolation Might do funny things to my brain, But if I stay calm, And nibble my arm, I'll stop myself going insane.
As soon as this lockdown is over, And we can see family again, I'll visit my aunt (who's really a plant) And ask her to lay me a hen.
'Til then I'll just stay in my bedroom And practice my gerbil kung-fu. I'm awfully glad I haven't gone mad; I hope you are keeping well, too.
By Peter Frederick