Are you dying for diarrhoea
To use up your toilet roll?
Are you hoping for a headache
To use your paracetamol?
If so you’re one of those
Who, when this all started,
Found that your brains
Had sadly departed.
Well, at least you know
They could not have gone far,
Being the miniscule size
That they are.
No larger, in fact,
Than a painkiller pill,
Like the ones that you bought
Leaving none for the ill?
By Peter Cole