I go outside.
Out of this prison my home has become
or that I've made out of it.
I can't tell the difference.
It feels wrong to be outside
just as wrong as it feels to be inside.
Where do I go?
I find a quiet place,
which wasn't easy.
Even though we're all ordered to stay
in our little prisons,
it's pretty busy in the courtyard.
I get on my knees
and touch the earth
something I've never done before.
I didn't have the time
but now I do.
All the time in the world.
Does the earth feel different?
I wouldn't know.
I clutch my fingers
and tear out a root.
And suddenly I get sad.
I didn't mean to do that.
It's exactly how I feel -
Uprooted.
I put it back
hoping that will fix it
make it like it was before.
But that's not how it works, is it?
Once uprooted
you can't go back to how it was before.
By Mariam