He's been locking down in London,
And a bit in Durham, too.
Not to mention Barnard Castle,
Legoland and Bristol Zoo.
He's been locking down in Stoke-on-Trent
He's spread himself quite thin of late.
He's been spreading everywhere.
He's been locking in Basildon,
In Derby, Penge and Rome.
Wherever he lays his beanie hat,
That's his lockdown home.
He's more spreadable than margarine.
He's been spreading far and wide.
He'll be locking down in your town soon:
Spread the word and stay inside.
By Brian Bilston