In the early 21st Century
Mankind found a cause
To battle fellow man, and start
The war to end all wars.
For what would this wicked world
Finally sell its soul?
Not for oil or gas or land
But for THE LAST TOILET ROLL.
A battle for the ages
One that can’t be forgotten
Pushed over the edge to have the feeling
Of soft tissue on your bottom.
“STOP THIS MADNESS!” experts screamed
But whatever they did to try
Wasn’t enough, as people rode out
To hunt for some 3-ply.
So, good luck out there, Warriors
Bog roll, I hope you find
And pray the search to wipe your bum
Doesn’t wipe out all mankind…
By Chris White