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The Toilet Paper Wars

In the early 21st Century

Mankind found a cause

To battle fellow man, and start

The war to end all wars.

For what would this wicked world

Finally sell its soul?

Not for oil or gas or land

But for THE LAST TOILET ROLL.

A battle for the ages

One that can’t be forgotten

Pushed over the edge to have the feeling

Of soft tissue on your bottom.

“STOP THIS MADNESS!” experts screamed

But whatever they did to try

Wasn’t enough, as people rode out

To hunt for some 3-ply.

So, good luck out there, Warriors

Bog roll, I hope you find

And pray the search to wipe your bum

Doesn’t wipe out all mankind…


By Chris White


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